You're right that bicyclists should have the required lighting at night to increase visibility but in all honesty it is not difficult to see a bicyclists on NYC streets, nor is it difficult to see a pedestrian if you are attentive and not speeding. There is plenty of lighting in NYC, on the vast majority of streets. We recently had almost every street in NYC converted to LED lighting as well.
The story about the bicyclist crashing into the side of your friend's car has to do with the bicyclist being inattentive, not a lack of light.
"Yes, drivers violate traffic rules, but by far cyclists violate more rules than drivers."
This is not even close to being an accurate statement. Speeding, double parking, illegal U-turns, unpredictable lane changes, failing to signal? The primary rules that bicyclists break in NYC are red running and riding in the wrong direction. Drivers do those things too with regularity. Besides the fact that drivers violate far more rules than bicyclist have the capability to, drivers are far more likely to cause serious injury or death.
As for the pedestrian deaths, starting with the most recent:
"According to the NYPD, Michael Collopy, 60, was hit by a cyclist at about 11:53 a.m. on July 31 <b>as he stood in the protected bike lane</b> at Sixth Avenue and 23rd Street, a busy corner."
https://nyc.streetsblog.org/2019/08/07/pedestrian-dies-after-cyclist-hit-and-run/
Pedestrian killed earlier this year:
"Donna Sturm was hit by a cyclist in the crosswalk at West 57th Street between Fifth and Sixth Avenues during her lunch break on April 25th. The cyclist, 40-year-old Damian Deward, allegedly ran a red light when he hit Sturm."
https://gothamist.com/2019/05/06/pedestrian_cyclist_death.php
And BTW. I do drive and night and have never had an issue seeing a bicyclists or pedestrian in the city after dark.