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How do I get my parents to let me go railfanning?


R42 M Train

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I for one know that my parents would not allow me to go railfanning. They know that I have an interest in trains but if I told them I wanted to go railfanning or something then they would think I have an obsession with the subway that is potentially distracting to things more important to me (i.e. grades). I am not going to recommend what I do to you, since I don't want to be a bad influence on you or anything (in case you take it the wrong way). But usually when I go railfanning, I can make up a variety of excuses to leave the house for any amount of time (i.e. going to my friend's house, going to my friend's house for a group project, cross country/track/lacrosse practice, etc.). That way I can get out of the house to railfan. Now obviously this does not mean that I do anything I want once I am out of the house. I don't go looking for trouble, I don't come back home at 3AM after a day of railfanning when "practice" was supposed to end at 6, etc. I know my boundaries and what not to do when going out railfanning.

 

The only thing I think you should be worrying about is Central Bronx and Yonkers where a lot of weird people are at, you would most likely better be off with a group of people (like 3+)...

 

That's not true. The Bronx is perfectly fine for rail/busfanning. The only "shady" area is the south Bronx, which isn't that bad either.

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Remember, once the lying starts, it doesn't stop.

That is, if you learn self-control, which very few people (in general) master at.

I for one know that my parents would not allow me to go railfanning. They know that I have an interest in trains but if I told them I wanted to go railfanning or something then they would think I have an obsession with the subway that is potentially distracting to things more important to me (i.e. grades). I am not going to recommend what I do to you, since I don't want to be a bad influence on you or anything (in case you take it the wrong way). But usually when I go railfanning, I can make up a variety of excuses to leave the house for any amount of time (i.e. going to my friend's house, going to my friend's house for a group project, cross country/track/lacrosse practice, etc.). That way I can get out of the house to railfan. Now obviously this does not mean that I do anything I want once I am out of the house. I don't go looking for trouble, I don't come back home at 3AM after a day of railfanning when "practice" was supposed to end at 6, etc. I know my boundaries and what not to do when going out railfanning.

That's exactly what I do. Make up some "believable" excuse and set a time to come home. If you happen to arrive late, say there was a massive delay on the subway. That's what I used to do.

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MegaBus has put up some good advice here, whether they like it or not.

 

How I would do it? Well, even at twenty-three, I'm still not fully experienced with touring the city as much. For starters, I recommend railfanning or busfanning with your parents so that you have someone to watch over and guide you. When I first started, I traveled with my mom or dad, mostly Dad 'cause he's a bigger buff. If I went alone, I didn't stay all that far from home and contacted my mom to let her know.

 

Also, the neighborhoods you want to venture in—Are they safe to walk around in, or are they crime-ridden? If the neighborhoods have a notorious reputation, I don't recommend traveling there. Areas like Queensbridge, South Hunters Point, Spanish Harlem, South Jamaica, Far Rockaway, Brownsville, Bushwick, and Mott Haven are not safe places and, therefore, I stay away from them. Know your neighborhoods well and ask people for advice regarding any neighborhood you want to go to. Do a quick Google search and go to sites like CityData for help.

 

Blend in, too. One problem with photographers is that, when taking pictures, you stick out like a sore thumb. I was harassed by someone once in Flushing, so it's best to know where to go and try to blend in as much as possible. Don't stay in one area all the time. Maneuver from place to place so that you don't look lost.

 

Be honest. I don't like lying at all and always let Mom know beforehand that I'm going to bus or railfan; today, I always tell Mom where I'm going and always call her periodically to let her know that I'm okay. Keep contacting.

 

Also, always check your time. If you feel that it's getting late or dark, return home. I feel very uncomfortable being out at night, so I return home at around sundown.

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I'm bout to hijack this thread with location stuffs

 

Here in the south (south northeast lol) North Philly and Northwest Philly is not the place to be transitfanning. Especially if you value your camera!, In Camden, STAY AWAY FROM THERE!!! The only safe part to fan is the Walter Rand Transit Center

 

*gives the keys back to the topic*

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Well, stop talking to me then, I am not posting BS while you are keeping on complaining like I am going to open a Walmart right on the Log Out section of this forum. Ugh, get over the previous stupid posts I made.

 

Yet again, that makes no sense. And I don't care about your stupid posts, I care about the fact that you keep making them and hijacking threads and taking them off topic.

 

You are not welcoming a fellow railfan as well, he can go fanning if he let his parents trust him.

 

How am I "not welcoming" him? Just because I'm not being like every other foamer in the world and telling him "go chase trains, it's the bestest!!!"? I am giving him good advice for his LIFE, not just for today, and not just because he likes trains. Look, when I was a kid my parents didn't support every thing I did in life, but I didn't start LYING to them. And if you do, and you get caught, you will never get trusted again. He's a MINOR. I have 23 years of experience behind me when I say that, which while it is a lot less than many here, is still enough to make me an adult. Instead of you worrying about how "welcome" he feels in the hobby (and he is welcome, you MegaBus just seem to have an amazing ability to not understand posts as they are made to you), freshpond should be most concerned with how to address the matter with his parents in a way that demonstrates maturity and responsibility. And half of you are telling him to lie that he is going to hang out with friends and to just go chase trains around.

 

The trust must be built up, and he should not lie. He should tell the truth and therefore he shall also bring his parents around different lines and make excuses for a destination just like when I made excuses of wanting to go to BK at Metro Mall in Middle Village for dinner after swimming class and I took the (A) to BDWY Junction, (L) to Myrtle-Wyckoff and (M) to Middle Village, that is how my parents know about ENY now. He wants to railfan, so he should get it, and he is not like Daniel the Cool right now, where his parents don't let him go to places. He is just building the base right now (or Progress: Planning) and knocking it down isn't helping at all.

 

That isn't the point. You're not going to convince your parents by dragging them around the system with you. If freshpond really wants them to go with them, that is acceptable, and if they want to go with him they will. But YOU are not his parents, you don't get to say what he does and doesn't do. It is up to HIM, and THEM, not YOU.

 

And he's not "building the base" right now, he's asking a question looking for good advice. It would be nice if more here did like R32 3348 and RTS CNG and gave him something useful in return.

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Don't lie to your parents, or they will have a hard time trusting you.

IAWTP 1000%. Tell them what you're doing, where you're going, how long you'll be gone, and take them with you the first few times. Then, ask to go on a small trip alone. Then make the alone-trips longer...you see my point.

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Hmmm.... I just tell my parents I'm going railfanning and they'd let me go. Just let them learn that you love trains, and that you fan with other people that aren't idiots for security. (Say that you know them as well.)

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Replies in Red.

 

If you think I'm going anywhere you've got another thing coming. Don't be an idiot. If you can't stand up for your posts, don't make them, but don't whine at me or anyone else because you don't like being called out on the carpet to defend what you have to say.

 

As for what I told the kid as advice, I gave it to him on the very first page of this thread. It's fairly simple actually. TALK to his parents, NEGOTIATE with them, and ACCEPT whatever decision they reach. And I also gave him the further advice that he should keep the HOBBY of liking trains in perspective, because that's something not many in this hobby do. He seems like a nice kid, and I do NOT want to see him end up like many of the degenerates that ARE in the hobby, so I am giving him the best advice I can give him, which is to MAKE SURE he doesn't wind up like that.

 

Lots of normal people have an interest in trains. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm just giving him good advice so that he winds up in the right crowd.

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