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How men treat women in school, life, and other places.


Roadcruiser1

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I gotta tell ya... Someone would have to be pretty goddamn desperate to buy a book that deals with anything regarding social skills/relationships... I'm content with the notion that "some people have it, some people don't"... Rather than self assessing themselves, people are WILLING to PAY for someone else's published advice/opinion.... This goes for both men & women....

 

Hell, although I can play that game, I aint the type of dude to walk up to a woman & spit straight G (that's game, for those who don't know) to try to get them drawers... you know, a scenario like:

 

"hey ma, what's good... you lookin right in them Dereon's...

glitter on ya face... lookin all good & shit....

you aint tell me ya name...

**(waits for girl to respond) **

 

aight Miss (insert her name here).... how bout we hang out for a couple... all in a rush & shit.... I know you hungry... done bought out errything (sees the bags in her hand).... you know... relax for a minit... do what it do... "

 

....basically what you do is compliment the F*CK out of her physical features.... gas her head up & see if she takes the bait off the fishhook.... then you might get you.. "some".

 

...but goin in, I KNOW what type of chick I'ma get if she "falls for it", so to speak..... Cats go about it this way & expect to get wifey type material.... I mean, if you goin make a career out of hittin sidepieces & jumpoffs, well, go right ahead.... but don't get mad when them chicks have...

 

OTHER DUDES ON THE SIDE, as well.

 

 

 

Then again, I can play the role of Mr suave, debonnaire, educated type of dude - while still in street clothes... many brothas cannot do this (even though they may try)... because their mouthpiece (verbal skills/vocabulary) aint there.... their skills is limited....

 

^^ Typically, you don't attempt to do this on the street.... you'd probably have a higher success rate if you go about it this way, if you're in an enclosed environment... a school, a get-together, at work (although I wouldn't suggest this), hell, even on the subway.....

 

 

but real world experience though, it aint about playing roles.... case in point:

 

I met my ex at an internship; she was feelin my confidence; the way I expressed myself & what not... how I wasn't like most ni***z.... and I was feelin how she carried herself, in conjunction with her attitude and... (I'll be honest), the way she could switch up from that classy chick to that chick with a pair of jeans, J's (that's Jordans, for those that don't know), and a fitted..... them curves was still lookin right.... then as the relationship went on, we started feelin more characteristics about each other..... Until we got sick of each other.... lol.... that's the way it works sometimes....

 

I can go on with this... but the moral of the story is fellas....

 

 

Etiquette should be learned at an early age, if not instinctual... Not sold....

You don't wait til you're like 24-25 to try to "catch up" on skills you should've had when you were in high school, or even junior high....

 

I hate to use this corny line, but it fits....

The game is to be told, not to be sold.

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Some people just never get the chance to learn proper social etiquette. Either it be from a traumatic experience early in life, lack of proper role models or what the media displays. Others could be taught properly and just lack the self confidence to put themselves out there in a social circle. I agree it's not ideal for people to just start learning how to be social in their 20s. But not everybody gets the chance to be raised properly at an early age.

 

 

It can also be rather embarrassing for someone of age to come looking to talk to someone on this subject. The books may just be a way for people who are socially challenged to get the answers they need without further humiliation. So for those who missed out on the chance, they have no choice but to "catch up". To say they shouldn't feels like saying they should give up and hide somewhere. It takes all kinds in the world and everybody deserves a chance to learn the fundamental rules of being in a social circle. It might be harder to do as one gets older but its never too late.

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Hell, although I can play that game, I aint the type of dude to walk up to a woman & spit straight G (that's game, for those who don't know) to try to get them drawers... you know, a scenario like:

 

"hey ma, what's good... you lookin right in them Dereon's...

glitter on ya face... lookin all good & shit....

you aint tell me ya name...

**(waits for girl to respond) **

 

aight Miss (insert her name here).... how bout we hang out for a couple... all in a rush & shit.... I know you hungry... done bought out errything (sees the bags in her hand).... you know... relax for a minit... do what it do... "

 

this is supposed to be considered "game"? el oh el. maybe for the guys that hang outside of the bodegas at new lots.

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this is supposed to be considered "game"? el oh el. maybe for the guys that hang outside of the bodegas at new lots.

fitting that you only took the time to quote that part of the post...

 

Anyway, That's the point.... These are the main dudes resorting to that shit.

 

You can attempt to stand up for sistas, but don't sit there and play brand new & act like it doesn't work on these women.

 

...and it don't only be hood chicks that fall for it.

 

 

Some people just never get the chance to learn proper social etiquette. Either it be from a traumatic experience early in life, lack of proper role models or what the media displays. Others could be taught properly and just lack the self confidence to put themselves out there in a social circle. I agree it's not ideal for people to just start learning how to be social in their 20s. But not everybody gets the chance to be raised properly at an early age.

 

 

It can also be rather embarrassing for someone of age to come looking to talk to someone on this subject. The books may just be a way for people who are socially challenged to get the answers they need without further humiliation. So for those who missed out on the chance, they have no choice but to "catch up". To say they shouldn't feels like saying they should give up and hide somewhere. It takes all kinds in the world and everybody deserves a chance to learn the fundamental rules of being in a social circle. It might be harder to do as one gets older but its never too late.

 

 

People do outright give up at trying to find a significant other because of w/e traumatic experiences happened in the past.... Oh I understand how humiliation plays a part in someone's (increased) shyness, someone being more cautious about approaching the opposite sex... but the way I see it, there's a little thing called personal growth too.... People don't want to take accountability for things, and then look for bailouts wherever the opportunity presents itself.

 

- Go buy my book.... make me rich.

- You still have insecurities & character flaws that won't go away overnight.

- Me, the author... I win, you lose. ha... ha.

 

I don't know about you, but I don't like being "had", by anyone.

When you see someone's short game, it's easy to combat it... Most people refuse to challenge it....

 

 

Anyway, you read the magazines, see the shows & what not.... you note the multitude of men/women that sit there & blurt out outcries about "I can't find the right one" because of XYZ, this that, and the third.... then in desperation go run off to buy a book, heed & act out what's said in said book, and still come up short...

 

I'm not buying that people are purchasing these types of books simply just to learn etiquette to better themselves as a person... they're last ditch efforts in trying to find mates.

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I gotta tell ya... Someone would have to be pretty goddamn desperate to buy a book that deals with anything regarding social skills/relationships... I'm content with the notion that "some people have it, some people don't"... Rather than self assessing themselves, people are WILLING to PAY for someone else's published advice/opinion.... This goes for both men & women....

 

 

If you actually READ the book then you'll see that it's not another generic dating book. It doesn't give you cheesy pickup lines. Instead, it changes your perspective on things. For example, when a woman says she wants to be "just friends" that basically means that she thinks you're less than a man. The book tells you to do seemingly mundane things like say hi to women to break the ice. It also encourages you to make guy friends. That may seem counterintuitive but women are attracted to guys who are doing something productive in their lives. Contrary to logic, women don't want to be worshipped by guys. If I had the balls to implement the book's strategies then I would be spending the night with some of my female law school classmates.

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If you actually READ For example, when a woman says she wants to be "just friends" that basically means that she thinks you're less than a man. Contrary to logic, women don't want to be worshipped by guys.

 

Sorry, but these statements are totally untrue. Don't take everything this book say word for word.

 

If I tell a guy I just want to be just friends, it simply mean just that. It does not mean I see him less than a man. I just don't want to ruin a really good friendship.

 

I personally wouldn't mind a guy worshiping me. Personally I don't know what that feels like and I would welcome it with open arms.

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It sucks trying to find girls here in Philly because

 

1. I don't really have the aforementioned "game", and guys like to tell me thats the fastest way to get a girl

 

2. like 99.999999999 of them are mothers, usually unwed. I am a virgin

 

3. I had experience with rejection.

 

4. I lack experience in actually having a girlfriend or a long term relationship

 

5. most of the girls I find, exp. the best looking ones are stuck up, etc

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If you actually READ the book then you'll see that it's not another generic dating book. It doesn't give you cheesy pickup lines. Instead, it changes your perspective on things.

 

For example, when a woman says she wants to be "just friends" that basically means that she thinks you're less than a man. The book tells you to do seemingly mundane things like say hi to women to break the ice. It also encourages you to make guy friends. That may seem counterintuitive but women are attracted to guys who are doing something productive in their lives. Contrary to logic, women don't want to be worshipped by guys. If I had the balls to implement the books strategies then I would be spending the night with some of my female law school classmates.

 

That's the thing... I don't NEED to read the book ;)

putting it in bold like I'm missing something grand.....

 

...and lmao at that example you referenced to.....when a woman says she wants to be friends, that has nothin to do with someone being less a man... like Ms W. says, that either means she don't want to jeopardize w/e level of relationship that may exist.... or, that's a nice way of sayin.. I don't want...

 

You.

 

 

 

Next thing...

Yes, you as a man, are expected to start the conversation... when women see dudes continually staring & looking away, not wanting to "break the ice", this is one example of where women see men as being less than men....

 

far as making guy friends... I don't agree with that.

This sounds like a book either written by a desperate housewife, or a man that's been burned in a couple divorces... Now I understand women do judge men by the company they keep, but encouraging a man to make male friends... sounds like hogwash to me....

 

Women don't want to be worshipped by guys, true... (well, sluts do, but that's another story)

OTOH, a lot of women have this thing where they want their man to treat them as if they're the only woman in existence.... why do you think a man's girlfriend/wife wants her dude to separate from his mother as much as possible... Why do you think the term "mamma's boy" is used as a shaming tactic on a man's manhood? Think about it dude... Men generally don't care about a woman's relationship w/ her father.... You'll only hear the term daddy's girl, when it has somethin to do w/ money.... Who makes attacks on a female's womanhood.....

 

If I had the nerve to implement that book's strategies, I'd be less of the man I am today.... You don't implement someone else's dating advice, wholesale... you have to think for yourself in accordance to what you see/experience/notice, as well....

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well aint this some'n...

 

Out of curiosity (jumpstarted by Roadcruiser's post above), I did some research on the authors.... A grin came to my face b/c I saw their game a mile away... I'll explain.

 

turns out they also have books, such as:

1) How to succeed with Men

2) How to be the Bad Boy women love

 

Out of the reviews I noticed where ppl. read both corresponding books (how to succeed with men/women), they all say that the basis of the stories told within both books, are the same... this tells me that these authors aren't genuine in what they're sayin....

 

Noticing how you (Forest Glen) are waxing poetic about this book, and to see a book entitled by the same authors called "How to be the bad boy women love"... **laughs**... I feel sorry for you if you don't see the hypocrisy in that....

 

Unsuspecting (and gullible) people are their target audience.

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this is supposed to be considered "game"? el oh el. maybe for the guys that hang outside of the bodegas at new lots.

 

As a guy I second that. That shit will get you laughed at or smacked in the face and deservedly so.

 

How about this instead: "I wanted to at least introduce myself. Hi, I'm (name)."

 

That's all you need to do to start a conversation with any woman.. That and comment on what's going on at that exact moment, but be funny, be fun, and be positive. That's all you have to do to get her to start talking.

 

As for all that stuff about game, I'll just say this. Game is how well you can keep a woman interested in what you have to say. That's it. If she's interested in what you have to say, she might become interested in YOU. If she's not interested in what you have to say, you're done.

 

As for women wanting to be friends, take it or leave it. It means she's not attracted to you. If you want a relationship, move on. If you're OK with a friendship, take the friendship. BOTH people have to want a relationship for there to be one. That said, same is true for friendship. If she wants to be your friend and you want to be her boyfriend, you can decide what to do, but if you think playing coy as the friend and trying to hook up with her later is going to work, the odds of that usually aren't good.

 

Also, being friends with a woman doesn't mean you're her servant. If you find yourself helping her get groceries, staying on the phone with her while she complains about other guys, or taking her drunk dials at 3am in the morning, gossiping about people, or helping her score with other guys by giving her advice, it's time for you to get up and turn your home upside down in search of your balls...There are a lot of women out there that will do this to their guy friends, and you'll want no part of it. There are plenty of women that won't, and those are the ones you'll want to be friends with.

 

Good looks are really not a big deal. Most women are attractive in some way. Also, there are lots of good looking women out there and lots of lame pathetic guys who just think that those women will want to sleep with them. But WHY? You have to be able to answer that question. You also need to be able to move on if "one" hot woman isn't into you because while you're dwelling on her, there's others you can meet that you aren't meeting because you're playing a sad sad song on the world's smallest violin

 

Having experience with rejection is not a bad thing. You live and you learn. You don't live, you don't learn. The boxer that gets his face punched in a few times eventually learns how to take a punch. When a heavyweight champ who never takes a punch gets cold cocked the first time, he's probably done.

 

Also, women do NOT want to be complimented to death. It makes them feel awkward. How would you feel if you had someone just show up and start telling you how wonderful you are? Probably nice for a while, and then it would get really really weird. Making a woman feel awkward does not make her attracted to you.

 

That said, spending money on advice books is a waste of money. Don't do it.

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this is supposed to be considered "game"? el oh el. maybe for the guys that hang outside of the bodegas at new lots.

 

Lol! I just hate that shit. "Hey ma" this and that.

 

Now in the hood with those females that sleep around all day then it will work. But in the real world dont even try it because you will look like a complet ass.

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It sucks trying to find girls here in Philly because

 

1. I don't really have the aforementioned "game", and guys like to tell me thats the fastest way to get a girl

 

2. like 99.999999999 of them are mothers, usually unwed. I am a virgin

 

3. I had experience with rejection.

 

4. I lack experience in actually having a girlfriend or a long term relationship

 

5. most of the girls I find, exp. the best looking ones are stuck up, etc

 

Dude im philly all the time and there are some really hot chicks down there.

 

1. I don't really have the aforementioned "game", and guys like to tell me thats the fastest way to get a girl

You do not need game to talk to a female. A simple Hi how are you will get the job done or Hi my name is(Your Name). If you really need to resort to it then you could say "hi im lost how do i get to so and so place". I saw it done before and it did work. Thats only a last resort if your truely scared.

 

2. like 99.999999999 of them are mothers, usually unwed. I am a virgin

So what, fine one that isnt a mother. There are plenty out there. For every female that is a mother is for every female that isnt a mother. To be honest alot of females want a guy thats a virgin, however you have to pay attention because some will take it from you and leave you feeling like shit out of luck with a broken heart.

 

3. I had experience with rejection.

Take that experience and build on it and learn from it. Dont ever let a female bring you down

 

 

4. I lack experience in actually having a girlfriend or a long term relationship

You dont need experience, because at some point in time everyone was single

 

5. most of the girls I find, exp. the best looking ones are stuck up, etc

There is no such thing as a stuck up girl, that is usually a girl that shows no intress in you. Pretty ass girls do that because they know they are pretty and know all the guys look at them.

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As for all that stuff about game, I'll just say this. Game is how well you can keep a woman interested in what you have to say. That's it. If she's interested in what you have to say, she might become interested in YOU. If she's not interested in what you have to say, you're done.

 

If a chick that's being gamed is interested in what some mahf**ka is sayin, she's fallin for what she think that dude is; the IDEA of what she thinks he is... which in most cases, is the thug image... I wish women get it out of their heads that bad boy = grown man... matter fact, it's the exact opposite...

 

If you play the game, be prepared to get played.

Plain & simple.

 

Lol! I just hate that shit. "Hey ma" this and that.

 

Now in the hood with those females that sleep around all day then it will work. But in the real world dont even try it because you will look like a complete ass.

that's the problem... these cats are out here doin it in the real world....

 

I actually find it funny when dudes have to resort to spittin G' in order to land a chick...

 

 

 

- You do not need game to talk to a female. A simple Hi how are you will get the job done or Hi my name is(Your Name). If you really need to resort to it then you could say "hi im lost how do i get to so and so place". I saw it done before and it did work. Thats only a last resort if your truely scared.

 

- So what, fine one that isnt a mother. There are plenty out there. For every female that is a mother is for every female that isnt a mother. To be honest alot of females want a guy thats a virgin, however you have to pay attention because some will take it from you and leave you feeling like shit out of luck with a broken heart.

 

- Take that experience and build on it and learn from it. Dont ever let a female bring you down

 

- You dont need experience, because at some point in time everyone was single

 

- There is no such thing as a stuck up girl, that is usually a girl that shows no intress in you. Pretty ass girls do that because they know they are pretty and know all the guys look at them.

 

I don't know how things are in philly, but I sometimes listen to this guy's rants on black women... he's also from philly... this is him just goin in, on the appearances & general upkeep of women out there in philly......

http://www.generation-x.net/viewVideo.php?video_id=4270&title=THIS_SHIT_DEPRESSES_ME

 

 

 

...anyway, on those pointers you bring up...

 

1) I wish dudes would realize this shit...

 

2) I'm not so sure I agree w/ the notion that the # of single women with children are just about equal to the # of single women w/o kids... I'm kinda with buswizard on that... Nowadays I think it's rare to actually find a woman under 30 w/o a child.... Here in NYC anyway...

I'll say it again, I aint walkin into any ready made family... Not gonna play daddy b/c I want mommy's panties... So I don't put myself in that situation....

 

the part about wanting virgins, I agree with....

 

3) Truer words have never been spoken.

 

4) yeh, that part of buswizard's post sounds like an excuse... if someone uses lack of experience as a reason they can't get girls (well, anywhere), then they'll be in the passenger seat stuck in park for the rest of their lives....

 

5) The easiest way to get a "stuck up" girl's attention is to not pay any attention to her... She will see you as different b/c you're not the dude gawking at her... This can work in your favor, or against you... That's if ya want that type of girl....

 

two words -->> Attention whore.

I'll pass.

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If a chick that's being gamed is interested in what some mahf**ka is sayin, she's fallin for what she think that dude is; the IDEA of what she thinks he is... which in most cases, is the thug image... I wish women get it out of their heads that bad boy = grown man... matter fact, it's the exact opposite...

 

If you play the game, be prepared to get played.

Plain & simple.

 

You're focusing too much on ghetto girls. You need to expand your horizons if that is what you're focusing on. And that's not a racial comment, because white trash exists too. I don't know any middle class girls that want a "thug" image, what they want is a guy who stands up for himself, because if he can't stand up for himself, how the hell is he supposed to stand up for her? That doesn't mean knives and guns and shit, that means being a man and protecting himself and his own as well as making sure they are taken care of.

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That book was even mentioned on yahoo and it's completely stupid. The person who wrote the book did it on purpose. Or he is a complete fool, player, thug, or loser that just wants to ruin f**king lifes with the book.

 

incorrect

 

Sorry, but these statements are totally untrue. Don't take everything this book say word for word.

 

If I tell a guy I just want to be just friends, it simply mean just that. It does not mean I see him less than a man. I just don't want to ruin a really good friendship.

 

I personally wouldn't mind a guy worshiping me. Personally I don't know what that feels like and I would welcome it with open arms.

 

Women say one thing and mean another (that's another lesson the book teaches you). Women say they want a nice guy but they really want a bad boy. "Just friends" is a euphemism for "you're a nice guy but you're a loser". As for worshipping, most women find it creepy.

 

Next thing...

Yes, you as a man, are expected to start the conversation... when women see dudes continually staring & looking away, not wanting to "break the ice", this is one example of where women see men as being less than men....

 

far as making guy friends... I don't agree with that.

This sounds like a book either written by a desperate housewife, or a man that's been burned in a couple divorces... Now I understand women do judge men by the company they keep, but encouraging a man to make male friends... sounds like hogwash to me....

 

Women don't want to be worshipped by guys, true... (well, sluts do, but that's another story)

...If I had the nerve to implement that book's strategies, I'd be less of the man I am today.... You don't implement someone else's dating advice, wholesale... you have to think for yourself in accordance to what you see/experience/notice, as well....

 

The book doesn't tell you to be a phony. It tells you to bring out your best qualities. As for guy friends, they can act as wingmen. It also makes men less desperate. A guy without male friends would feel like sh*t if he had a bad date. A guy with male friends would have a beer with his pals and head to the strip club after the date.

 

My problems stem from a childhood speech impediment that has made me a bit self conscious. Despite my acne I'm not an ugly dude. I have a decent physique. Once I start talking and acting more confident I'll meet women. The book has helped me.

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I agree with Ms. W Supporter. A book isn't always right, you know. I respect a guy who just wants to be friends with me because, well, I like to have friends! And let's be reasonable: you can't be sexually or romantically interested in every single person you meet. As a result, there are some you just may want to be just friends with! What's wrong with that?

 

Fo' serious guys, I can't stress this enough: just be yourselves. It's cliche, but it will make yours, and everyone else's, lives over 9000 times easier.

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