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British and American English


DOB2RTO

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Here are some other wacky British slang terms:

 

* “To knock you up” means to wake you up by knocking on the door.

 

* To "diddle" means to cheat someone.

 

* A "f@g" is a cigarette.

 

* When the British are surprised or shocked they exclaim, "Blow me!"

 

* "Slap and tickle" means having sex.

 

* And courage is "a lotta bottle." From drinking alcohol from a bottle.

 

* And to them a real jerk is called a "wanker."

 

I can imagine a conversation at the front desk of a bed and breakfast in England:

 

CLERK: Tomorrow morning, would you like me to knock you up?

 

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Are you serious?

 

CLERK: I wouldn’t diddle you!

 

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Then how will you knock me up?

 

CLERK: Quite easily! And if I can’t do it, then I’ll get me mate to do it.

 

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Oh… you’re one of those.

 

CLERK: One of those what? Oh, it’s me break. I’m going out to smoke a f@g.

 

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: That’s disgusting!

 

CLERK: Oh, I know. Bad habit really. Ah, here’s Ben. He will take care of you.

 

BEN: So do you want me to knock you up in the morning?

 

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: You English men are so forward! So did you just come back from smoking a f@g?

 

BEN: Certainly not! Bloody nasty, if you ask me. What time shall I knock you up?

 

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: What makes you think you can just have sex with me?

 

BEN: Blow me!!!

 

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Oh, I don’t do that.

 

BEN: You want the old slap and tickle? There’ll be a whole lot more slappin’ than ticklin’, that’s for sure! Sex with you? Whoa! That would take a whole lotta bottle!

 

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: So you’re well endowed?

 

CLERK: Oh, Ben’s a huuuuuge wanker!

 

BEN: This is just smashing.

 

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: It’d better not be just smashing. You’re gonna be my baby daddy!

 

BEN (rolling eyes): Bloody smashing!

 

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Bloody? How big is your wanker?

 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwww!!! HA HA HA!

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Ha! I love how you put that together, although you did miss "bummer" which certainly could have been worked in there (bummer = homosexual man in Britain).

 

It came from a web site, that I scrolled across, looking for British slang that would be funny to use here, in our "dirty English" text.....

 

George Michael and Elton John, those two blokes, are two bummers....

 

Those ladies love a mint toad-in-the-hole.......

 

I found a AmE to BrE translator site.

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LOL.... I hated British English in high school. I thought the words and phrases were so funny, yet reading Shakespeare was so annoying because I never knew what the hell they were talking about unless I looked up the words. By then I forgot what the paragraph was even about.

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