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What Non-Music Video are you watching? Such as TV theme song and home video

VWM

By VWM,
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Kamen Rider Conductor

Kamen Rider

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Worked out another set of videos. limited squinting at your monitors this time...

 

I give you the 5 most epic fails in movie making.

 

This aren't just sucky movies (IE SYFI's saturday lineup), these are movies who's directors should be kicked out of the guild perminatly.

 

They are just plain old done poorly.

 

First, at number 5 is "Manos: The Hands of Fate". Yes, the title of this movie is "Hands: the Hands of fate".

 

Made in 1966 and Written, Directed, produced and staring Harold P. Warren, it was made to satisfy a bet that anyone could make a movie. Mr. Warren sold insurance and fertilizer. The crew he hired knew next to nothing about movies. thier rented equipment could only shoot 32 seconds at a time. The loooooong driving sequince at the begining was to put in the credits. No one wanted to be credited for this mess...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AJVZuQuD6M&feature=player_embedded

 

Number 4 does go back to my last series of posts, but only because of how aweful this next movie is.

 

Kamen Rider x Super Sentai: Super Hero War.

 

When this movie was first annouced, it was lauded as a momentenious occasion in the Toku fandom. Then it came out. And it had nothing that resembles a plot. Hell, it would sufice to say it seems that several diffrent people were writting this movie and none of them knew what the others were doing...

 

Super Sentai and Kamen Rider are made by the same production company, TOEI. This was the first major cross over between the two franchises. Kamen Riders shows star solo heros in more armor based suits, and tend to lean hard on the drama side. 2009 was the shows 10th consectutive season (it had a harder time staying on air, it's been on in four distinct blocks, 1971-1974, 1979-1980, 1987-1988 and since 2000) and to celbrate, they made Kamen Rider Decade (pronounced De-cade) who had the abilty to turn into any of the pervious 9 riders. when Sentai reached it's 35th season two years later, they barrowed the concept to create Priate Sentai Gokaiger, who did the same thing with the 34 pervious ranger teams.

 

The movie stars the leads of Decade and Gokagier, having teamed up with some of thier show's respective major bad guys, to exterminate the other side. And they are damn mum on WHY. When they do give some plot background, it doesn't make logical sense, and then you have someone who was trying to be a good guy get POed enought he starts stomping on the heros in a mech becuase he feels left out...

 

 

Under "SST" parts 1-6

 

Number 3 "Santa Claus"

 

Take a figure from another culture, make a move about him, but don't bother to do any ACTUAL research on the topic.

 

This 1959 stink bomb points to the issues of guessing and making stuff up as you go along. It was made in mexico, where, at the time, Santa was not that big a deal. the Three wise men were still the primary gift givers. So why this was even made is beyond me...

 

Here the jolly old fat guy lives in a golden floating castle in space. Next to several other floating castles which I can only assume belong to The easter bunny, the great pumpkin and Kawnza-bot...

 

For help Santa has a workshop full of identical children, some of whom may or may not be aliens since one doesn't understand earth food, Vulcan, the Roman god of the forge, and Merlin, as in King Arthur's Merlin. See what I mean about throwing things togther. Then it only gets worse, as Santa's Christmas eve trip is nearly wrecked by a demon named Pitch, who may or may not be trying to userp his boss while he's at it (the voice of the devil in the dub is the same voice actor who dubs Santa)

 

Original version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6dbM-KK3Qk4

 

 

MST3K version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4UxYNmJXQE&feature=player_embedded

 

 

number 2 'the Starfighter's.

 

"Is your face odd? Mishapen? join the Air Force1"

 

a lesson in filler. when enough of you movie is stock footage that you shouldn't actually be credited as director.

 

The Starfighters refer to the F-104 fighter jet. this movie is the sort of story of a young pilot and his two buddies learning to fly them. And I say sort of because the large majority of it is just planes flying to the sound of annyoing jazz. They spend so much time on mid air refueling, the writers of MST3k ran out of sexual inuendos...

 

 

 

#!

 

 

 

 

 

Number 1: "Space Mutiny" or "Mutiny in Space" (they never seemed to have made up thier minds)

 

 

Where to start with this. Where to start...

 

Well, we could start with the blatnetly obvious... EVERY SPACE SHIP SHOT IS STOLEN FROM BATTLESTAR GALATICA!

 

The movie's setting consists of basicly two areas. An empty factory that plays the part of the starships' engineering areas and a converted office building that's used for the command sections. The factory has windows, looking outside.... To fix the problem of the sunlight they filmed with an orange filter and were going to slip in something about the windows being a part of the engine. Unforuntily, they forgot to tell Post production, who removed the filter...

 

The Galact.... I mean the "Southern Sun", is a generational vessel, built to carry colonists to a habitable planet 10 lightyears away. It's been enroute for nearly 400 years, but that's beside the point. But it's a generational starship that get's visitors. So one can only assume at some point humanity devloped some kind of FTL, which kind of renders the slow boat routine moot, but that's the LEAST of the movie's problems.

 

First, bad guy blows up something that opens and closes the landing bay doors. Which according to him and his co-horts, means no one can get on or off for two weeks. Which is kind of akward, given the bad guy's top prooity is getting OFF. Which doesn't make much sense again. seeing as how if the ship get's visitors, then he could have just quit and left...

 

Jump to 35 mintues into the video. A member of the ships' bridge crew is murdered in cold blood. If you then sit through a umm.. "Car Chase", yes, let's call it that, or just jump to 37 mintues and 20 seconds... she's suddenly alive and back at her station.

 

Another problem is that a number of the monitors on the bridge, keep showing footage from later in the movie...

 

they can't figure out how to spell the female lead's name. and I mean her real name. It's Cissy in the opening credits and "Cisse" at the end.

 

And add to that the flatest, weirdest actting I've ever seen.

 

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Grand Concourse

Grand Concourse

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Some reason anytime I catch the simpsons at 7pm it's something I already saw 1 or 2 times already. They have over 500 eps, can't they air stuff from the first 12 seasons? Anyway I don't watch the show anymore, but I give them credit for some of the creative 'couch gags' at the start of the show. Yesterday's ep had an opening parodying the Game of Thrones. As a new fan of GoT, I gotta give the Simpsons props for that. Loved it! 3eyed crows!

Edited by Grand Concourse
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Turbo19

Turbo19

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I'm fairly bored tonight, so here's a Grand Theft Auto documentary from GamerSpawn.

 

 

 

I was a bit hesitant to view, especially given that most of these videos seem to further cater to fanboys and no one else. Ultimately while a bit redundant and repetitive for the long time players and those knowledgeable in regard to the series such as myself, at the end a nice summary along with a different perspective and fairly unbiased view was accomplished.

 

At the end I have to say it was a great watch.

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