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Via Garibaldi 8

16 people you never want to meet on the MTA express bus

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16 people you never want to meet on the MTA express bus

Posted Apr 3, 2017

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By Ken Paulsen | paulsen@siadvance.com

The 16 people you don't want to meet on the express bus

From the snorer to the recliner, these are the people who make our commutes ... interesting.

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The sleeper

Look, despite our cuddly appearance, do not confuse us with a pillow. We'd rather not try to wake you up.

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The shopper

We’re glad you found a sale at Century 21, but these buses were not built for you and all your  shopping bags. Wait a minute. You got those shoes for $23.99? Wow, I have to get there!

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The confused Manhattan local/tourist

We're trying to get home and you're holding up our bus! No, you cannot get off downtown. If you board here, you're not supposed to get off until we’re on Staten Island. Still want to climb aboard?

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The person in the back ...

... of a standing-room-only bus who has to get off at the first stop. We know it's not your fault. But you do realize that everyone else who's standing has to get off the bus in order for you ... but, but ... oh, nevermind.

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The yakker

The yakker: We love cellphones. And no problem with short calls to the spouse + kids. But long-term, “How’ve you been?” conversations? Please hold off.

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The loud music lover

 Hey! You with the headphones! Can you lower that? You might as well have a boom box on your lap.

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The luggage lugger / backpacker

 Dude, what on earth do you have in that backpack? And you, pal, with the suitcase: Are you going away for two weeks? At least watch that you don't knock over a fellow passenger.

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The recliner

Excuse me. Sir? Do you realize that your seatback is resting on my knees? This is an MTA bus, not a La-Z-Boy showroom.

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The snorer

Those buses can can toasty and comfy after a long day’s work, but if you’re prone to snoring, maybe at least put one of those nose strips on? We hear they work wonders. If not, expect an accidental elbow to the ribs.

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The person who sits next to you

Yes, we know it’s a public bus. But why did you have to sit there? I really wanted to stretch out. What about that empty seat over there? Can’t you take that one?

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The speaker of a different language

 We have no problem with people who speak different tongues. It’s just that, well, if you speak a different language, we can’t eavesdrop on your gossipy conversation.

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The rider who doesn't have a MetroCard

Really? You’re going to drop 26 quarters into the machine? And argue if it only counts 25 of them? By the time you found 26 quarters you could have run to the store and bought a MetroCard.

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The seafood lover

Dining on the bus is tolerable for us if you’re eating white rice and drinking water. Anything else (we're looking at YOU, fish fan), please wait until you've reached your destination.

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The nail clipper / manicurist

Oh please, stop clipping your nails. We’re grossed out by hearing it -- and seeing it makes our stomachs turn. And if one of those clipped nails flies should fly off and zing our cheek, we just might lose it. And this goes double for those thinking of painting their nails or using nail-polish remover.

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The stop-misser

Hey, it happens. Just don't panic. Press the bell and get off at the next stop. Don't expect the driver to turn around because you snoozed.

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The brusher

We understand. We really do. Can you just make sure you do this really quickly?

Source: https://www.silive.com/entertainment/2017/04/16_people_you_never_want_to_me.html?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=statenislandadvance_sf&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR2LKMr2qenf4mgLts05FlmZ4RfT3MBa4qqzWcfmF8FSfJBCkFkbhntv8Uc

 

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"The speaker of a different language"

You'd think we could make it through even just a joke article on SI Live without some dumb, xenophobic comment–but no! 

 

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The shopper one is why I would prefer driving over taking public transportation when doing a lot of shopping.

 

 

I love gateway mall and it's only a mile or so from my house, but I have to take three buses to reach it where's it's only a 5 min drive on the Belt.

 

 

I'm surprised not saying thank you to the driver isn't listed... I noticed nearly everybody who exits the express bus thanks the driver, I don't though, maybe I'm just an a$$hole.

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5 minutes ago, trainfan22 said:

The shopper one is why I would prefer driving over taking public transportation when doing a lot of shopping.

 

 

I love gateway mall and it's only a mile or so from my house, but I have to take three buses to reach it where's it's only a 5 min drive on the Belt.

 

 

I'm surprised not saying thank you to the driver isn't listed... I noticed nearly everybody who exits the express bus thanks the driver, I don't though, maybe I'm just an a$$hole.

It's an express bus thing.  You tend to get the same rider daily and know your drivers by name and by face, so it's kind of like you're all one big group.  Unless the driver is an a-hole, most people speak.

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"The Stop Misser"

Some times the B/O would go off-route to save time but if you don't notice it, you'll miss your stop. Happened a few weeks ago on the SIM33C. I was about to push the button for Targee, but the B/O hoped on the expressway. Luckily I was just transferring to the S53 so he let me off at Clove where I caught the S53.

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Posted (edited)

the nail clipper... THIS shouldn't be a thing on any bus or train. i couldn't sit there and let that happen. I'd absolutely be compelled to say something (as a customer. however, when I'm on the clock, i won't get involved) 

Edited by EastFlatbushLarry
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19 hours ago, MHV9218 said:

"The speaker of a different language"

You'd think we could make it through even just a joke article on SI Live without some dumb, xenophobic comment–but no! 

I didn't find that comical in the slightest, either..... This entire article is laced with droll humor that's rather ineffective AFAIC.... This particular "person you'd never want to meet on the MTA express bus" in question, reinforces the stigma that express buses have (of that of transporting elitists).....

18 hours ago, EastFlatbushLarry said:

the nail clipper... THIS shouldn't be a thing on any bus or train. i couldn't sit there and let that happen. I'd absolutely be compelled to say something (as a customer. however, when I'm on the clock, i won't get involved) 

I understand wanting to be liberated - and in saying that, while IDK when this particular trend started (more people willingly doing it with no shame/embarrassment anyway), the openly/publicly preening bit I find to be quite disturbing..... My interest in you immediately drops down to zero if I see you putting on makeup, combing your hair, and even applying deodorant on some bus or some train.... Not cute at all.... I'd argue it's not even lady-like.....

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Some of these aren't exclusive to the express bus, but to keep it on topic...

- The shopper, I find to be more of an SI express rider thing than anything, especially on the old x1/x10/x17 (IDK how "the shoppers" are broken up on the SIM routes).... These types, much like the yakker, also won't shut up to save their lives... "Don't touch my f***ing bag, a**hole!" is their mantra.... Smh, I would always dread when those types would get on any bus I was ever on......

- The recliner is the person I tend to get into it with on an express bus the most, obviously because of my height.... I'd go as far as to say most passenger conflicts on an express bus are due to this (well this, and the quote-unquote yakker)..... There's a line between simply wanting legroom & being an inconsiderate jackass......

- The rider w/ no metrocard is a PITA, and at times I would feel like they're trolling everyone on the bus, as well as the MTA in & of itself.....

- The confused tourist/manhattan local transient is a mild nuisance.... The ones that are hell bent on arguing with the b/o, I can see where a current passenger might want to get up out of their seat & shove them off the bus though..... In my experiences, you usually hear audible "oh come on's", "let's GO", "I gotta get home", retorts of that sort.....

- The loud music lover, I don't think I've ever encountered on any express bus....

- The brusher & the nail clipper are one in the same; "the public preener"....

- The seafood lover? Alright, now this is just plain stupid...... Even if you wanted to generalize it to that of simply eating on an express bus, it's really not a widespread problem enough to put a sort of PSA out there to be on the lookout for the eater (which has a better ring to it anyway than the seafood lover).....

----------------------------

 

Oh FFS, I can't do this anymore..... The author of this article must have gotten more schillings on the dollar for each item listed or something, because you really don't have to be wary of this many types of people on an express bus..... And as I alluded to in the prior post, the attempts at humor in this piece was like Giancarlo Stanton in last year's playoffs - a bunch of damn swings & misses....

 

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1 hour ago, B35 via Church said:

Some of these aren't exclusive to the express bus, but to keep it on topic...

- The shopper, I find to be more of an SI express rider thing than anything, especially on the old x1/x10/x17 (IDK how "the shoppers" are broken up on the SIM routes).... These types, much like the yakker, also won't shut up to save their lives... "Don't touch my f***ing bag, a**hole!" is their mantra.... Smh, I would always dread when those types would get on any bus I was ever on......

- The recliner is the person I tend to get into it with on an express bus the most, obviously because of my height.... I'd go as far as to say most passenger conflicts on an express bus are due to this (well this, and the quote-unquote yakker)..... There's a line between simply wanting legroom & being an inconsiderate jackass......

- The rider w/ no metrocard is a PITA, and at times I would feel like they're trolling everyone on the bus, as well as the MTA in & of itself.....

- The confused tourist/manhattan local transient is a mild nuisance.... The ones that are hell bent on arguing with the b/o, I can see where a current passenger might want to get up out of their seat & shove them off the bus though..... In my experiences, you usually hear audible "oh come on's", "let's GO", "I gotta get home", retorts of that sort.....

- The loud music lover, I don't think I've ever encountered on any express bus....

- The brusher & the nail clipper are one in the same; "the public preener"....

- The seafood lover? Alright, now this is just plain stupid...... Even if you wanted to generalize it to that of simply eating on an express bus, it's really not a widespread problem enough to put a sort of PSA out there to be on the lookout for the eater (which has a better ring to it anyway than the seafood lover).....

----------------------------

 

Oh FFS, I can't do this anymore..... The author of this article must have gotten more schillings on the dollar for each item listed or something, because you really don't have to be wary of this many types of people on an express bus..... And as I alluded to in the prior post, the attempts at humor in this piece was like Giancarlo Stanton in last year's playoffs - a bunch of damn swings & misses....

 

Even then the experiences with people on express bus is not as bad as LIRR. They also did not mention the express bus groupies that chat with the b/o and with each other. 

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Posted (edited)
21 hours ago, Q101viaSteinway said:

Even then the experiences with people on express bus is not as bad as LIRR. They also did not mention the express bus groupies that chat with the b/o and with each other. 

Heh, don't get me started with the LIRR.....

What you're describing there with those that talk the ears off of a b/o & other peers is still the yakker (the yakker isn't just the person on the cell phone, as this article would have one believe).... I rarely sit in the front of an express bus anyway, so this isn't a concern to me (although I can see where it can be for someone else)...

I guess, being a long time native of this city, I don't expect to board some mode of public transportation & actually/literally expect a quiet ride !

On ‎3‎/‎7‎/‎2019 at 12:36 PM, Lil 57 said:

"The Stop Misser"

Some times the B/O would go off-route to save time but if you don't notice it, you'll miss your stop. Happened a few weeks ago on the SIM33C. I was about to push the button for Targee, but the B/O hoped on the expressway. Luckily I was just transferring to the S53 so he let me off at Clove where I caught the S53.

This is another stupid so-called "person you'd never want to meet on the MTA express bus"..... So you overslept & missed your stop, big whoop.... That person isn't any real nuisance to anyone but his/herself..... Ever woke up in a cold sweat? Woke up nervous/frantic? The most you'll probably get from that person is an excuse me, I gotta get off (or something to that effect, in a nervous/repititious tone, if that person's sitting at a window seat w/ someone sitting next to them), with a repeated pressing of the bell & what not... That person's not going to expect the b/o to double back on the route..... Come on.... Straight foolishness.....

More to your point, you wouldn't be the so-called stop misser here.... If a b/o deviates off route, never serving some stop along the normal course of the route, that's not your fault..... The guy that overslept, or too pre-occupied on a cell phone or laptop, or so engaged in some conversation with somebody that he misses his stop though, with the driver operating along the normal course of the route? - That is no one else's fault but that passenger.

Edited by B35 via Church
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