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MTR Admiralty

Jokes from Underground Thread (AKA Transit Jokes)

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Let's throw in some transit jokes here to amuse ourselves:

 

Here's one I made up:

A: Knock, knock

B: Who's there?

A: It's

B: IT'S WHO???

A: It's SMEE!!!!!!!

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Here is something cool I made up:

Person A: Hey, whats up?

Person B: Hey, very good!

Person A: Why are you hanging around Queens Plaza for?

Person B: I am waiting for the Nostalgia Arnine Special!

Person A: There is not Old Doggies Here!

Person B: Not Canine, Arnine!

Arnine: Toot Toot!

Person A: What is that?

Person B: It is the Arnine!

Person A: Huh? Canine?

Person B: No, look Arnine!

Person A: It is not a Canine!

Person B: Phew, see ya down the (V) Line after the last Arnine trip!

Person A: *~Confused~*

I feel like I'm Person A right now. What???

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

A tourist arrives in New York and has never been on the subway before. He's at Brighton Beach and he asks a local "How do you get to Chinatown?" The local tells him to take a B. The tourist is puzzled and sees a bee flying past him. He reaches for it and gets stung.

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A man on his way to work stepped onto the platform at Broad Channel. He's going to Manhattan and sees a train coming on the Rockaway track. It's an A. 10 minutes later, an S came. The man frets because his train's late. Another 10 minutes later, the next train comes and it's another S. He looks at his watch and said: "Well I suppose the next is H. The MTA is taking such a long time to spell A**HOLE, even my 6 year old son could do that faster than them."

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A Vatican priest has once asked a token booth person how to get from 5th Avenue/53rd Street to 34th Streeet. The person tells him to go "DOWNTOWN". The priest misinterprets it and gets infuriated. He goes: "Oh I see how it is, you're telling me to go to hell"

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++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A musician went down to the subway and bumps into a colleague. The fellow musician said: "Ronald, why in such a hurry? Going to the opera now?" Ronald replied, "No, I'm hearing trains sing." Just then a R142 leaves the station.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Two homeless men in the subway were sleeping on a box in a subway station at night. One of them got up and said to the other, "Paul, you got food tonight?" The other man said: "No man, there's no McDonalds or Starbucks down inside the subway. However, you can have a rat tonight."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Three men were fishing along the Atlantic in Delaware. Their rods hit something hard. "Mr Williams," cried the first, "I think I got a bite!" Mr Williams, the second, took the rod and said: "Naw fool, that's not a fish! I think you struck gold!" Mr Roger, the third man, dived into the ocean and headed to where the rod struck. He saw a decayed subway car in the middle of the ocean filled with fish. He went inside and was told by a huge fish: "GET OUT! You're not qualified for the schoolcar!"

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