Poems

[FlushingExpress]

can you write a good poem without rhythm? i received not very nice comments about a love poem i wrote that people said it sounded good, but it was shot down because it had no rhythm. what is the deal with that?:confused:

[7LineFan]

Poems don't have to have rhythm... I don't know what the deal is with that.

[FlushingExpress]

Poems don't have to have rhythm... I don't know what the deal is with that.

 

that is what i am asking. someone wrote a poem about the R38s and it did not have rhythm

[MTR Admiralty]

that is what i am asking. someone wrote a poem about the R38s and it did not have rhythm

 

There are poems called free verse poems, it's basically "free-style"; you can go against the conventions of standard poetry, there is no rhyme or rhythm in it. I generally look for the subject, rather than the rhythm.

[RokuSix]

Rhythm is subjective, too. It could be that they read it wrong. I'm sure when you wrote it, you had some sort of rhythm in mind. Be aware, though, that it doesn't have to be a steady beat.

[MTR Admiralty]

Rhythm is subjective, too. It could be that they read it wrong. I'm sure when you wrote it, you had some sort of rhythm in mind. Be aware, though, that it doesn't have to be a steady beat.

 

It really depends on who is going to read it.

[FlushingExpress]

Here is one poem I wrote, called "My Summer of Love":

 

Is it you,

the one who gathers flowers?

We were once in a dream,

planning to meet this summer.

After we made that promise,

the rays of the sun leave you.

What will it mean if you do not come?

 

Is it you?

Can you please turn towards me,

hoping that you will come

and hear what I have to say?

Each day I pray with my heart

that summer is finally here and

let this moment shine with love.

 

I love you, will you listen to me?

Will you be just like me,

waiting for summer to arrive?

I love you, are you afraid to know

of how much I miss you?

Seeing you once is good.

Do you agree?

 

Is it you

that can recite this poem?

You and I both love it and

can replace our words with it.

In all my dreams this poem

is written only for you.

Let my voice be forever with you.

 

I love you, will you listen to me?

Will you be just like me,

waiting for summer to arrive?

I love you, are you afraid to know

of how much I miss you?

Seeing you once is good.

Do you agree?

 

I love you, will you listen to me?

will you be just like me,

Waiting for summer to arrive?

I love you, are you afraid to know

that I think of just you?

Seeing you once is good.

Do you agree?

 

The time has arrived.

You should be able

to feel my heart.

[MTR Admiralty]

Here is one poem I wrote, called "My Summer of Love":

 

Is it you,

the one who gathers flowers?

We were once in a dream,

planning to meet this summer.

After we made that promise,

the rays of the sun leave you.

What will it mean if you do not come?

 

Is it you?

Can you please turn towards me,

hoping that you will come

and hear what I have to say?

Each day I pray with my heart

that summer is finally here and

let this moment shine with love.

 

I love you, will you listen to me?

Will you be just like me,

waiting for summer to arrive?

I love you, are you afraid to know

of how much I miss you?

Seeing you once is good.

Do you agree?

 

Is it you

that can recite this poem?

You and I both love it and

can replace our words with it.

In all my dreams this poem

is written only for you.

Let my voice be forever with you.

 

I love you, will you listen to me?

Will you be just like me,

waiting for summer to arrive?

I love you, are you afraid to know

of how much I miss you?

Seeing you once is good.

Do you agree?

 

I love you, will you listen to me?

will you be just like me,

Waiting for summer to arrive?

I love you, are you afraid to know

that I think of just you?

Seeing you once is good.

Do you agree?

 

The time has arrived.

You should be able

to feel my heart.

 

Very nice

[FlushingExpress]

Very nice

 

thanks, need some reviews. there is a lot more where that came from

[7LineFan]

Whoever said that poems needed rhythm or rhyme is sadly mistaken.

[RokuSix]

Your poem is about to make me cry. I love the emotion that it brings. Your use of tone here is good- see? You don't even need rhythm to be the main focus.

And just for the record, the way I read it- it has a rhythm.

[FlushingExpress]

Your poem is about to make me cry. I love the emotion that it brings. Your use of tone here is good- see? You don't even need rhythm to be the main focus.

And just for the record, the way I read it- it has a rhythm.

 

I am obsessed with love poems. Here is another one, which is based on a old song that i really love, called "Unchangeable In This Lifetime"

 

 

The wind spreads your hair like a shawl.

Your eyes sparkle a look of hate

as if you are saying you will not change.

Your wrinkled face clearly shows your pain.

 

This cycle of grief will not end.

Cold and warmth come and go at once.

My eyes see you, but my heart does not.

Once again, I can only call this out.

 

Heaven cannot solve hate like how lovers are hard to please.

Splitting cannot change this, but I am treasuring this moment.

Who knew that separating has caused me to miss you more?

Who knew that once I loved you, breaking up could not change my life?

 

Saying this over and over,

forwards and backwards, I recall.

Let me kiss you just one more time.

After parting, I might not see you again.