Showtime dancers? on LIRR? You know full well that's never happening regardless...
The elephant in the room is that with the MTA's finances they won't have any service if it continues to cost over $400 million to staff extra conductors on trains.
The peak direction 9-5 Central Business District commuter ridership model that both LIRR and Metro-North are intended for is just simply not economically sustainable anymore in a world with WFH, multiple CBDs in the region, reverse peak commuting, staggered shifts, and increases in off-peak usage. And that's not even considering the money set on fire each day on storing trains off peak (the average LIRR train spends 18 hours sitting in the yard each day) and paying full crews a minimum of 8 hours even if they only work a single peak period etc, etc.
A shift to a proof-of-payment fare model is pretty much the only way we'll see significant improvements in LIRR/MNR service because it costs so much to crew trains. Reducing crew sizes now opens up opportunities for them to spend more on operations adding more trips to the schedules.