Bus drivers and how they address passengers

[biGC323232]

Actually I don't mind either depending on how well I know the person. As I have said before, I have a few very good friends, and we are like brothers and treat each other as such. The issue isn't so much about the names, but rather whether or not I know you in such a manner for you to address me that way. If I don't know you like that, then I don't want you taking the liberty to try to decide for me how you're going to address me. In my mind if you're a stranger, then keep it formal because that's exactly what I do, regardless of someone's age, background or any of that other nonsense. Period. As a matter of fact, a good friend of mine calls me "dawg", but we've know each other since high school. Would I want some stranger calling me that? Hell no!

 

It seems as if the younger generation becomes less and less formal. When I was a teenager, it was much more formal in terms of how people addressed me and I remember people calling me "Sir" and thinking I'm not that old... I was big for my age, so I could pass as an older guy. Now I'm older and yeah I would prefer sir for people that don't know me or something formal. With my friends, it's a whole different ballgame. We shoot the sh*t so to speak and we're VERY INFORMAL.

 

I just hope another 

 

 

 

 

 

Mr. Garibaldi sir, did you even read what I just said? What I am trying to say that yes as I explained >>(Reference: post # 46, 'Bus drivers and how they address passengers' , New York City Transit Forums), its the context in which the average new Yorker uses terms. Thats what I mean. Its no big deal. Yes perhaps I am younger than you, ok. But I would imagine that as I get older I would still feel the same way. I dont necessarily take things to heart or get unnecessarily offended by things. Its not that serious. Sir.

 

=D

 

I just hope no other Stranger call's him brother...

 

The meme was directed at Orion IIV 4 Life, just pulling his leg.

 

Anyway yes, but again, what I am trying to say is that its the context in which titles slang, formal or not is used. Its ok, man...

 

Ok let me try another way of explaining it. There are three elements in the English language that denotes communication: Word, meaning and tone of voice. That would deliver the context of how words are used. (Along with non verbal cues which some say makes up the actual larger percentage of communication according to some)

 

So if say on the internet I say 'Mr. Garibaldi', I am speaking in a non aggressive insulting way. But if as another example, if I say 'MRRRRR. GARIBALDIII!!' then that denotes that I am addressing you in a way to deliberately become disrespectful and agressive. Notice I used a formal term (Mr.) but in two forms of context. (Just using this as an analogy.)

 

The same goes with addressing people by title verbally. Theres a big difference. 

 

So if someone igf you happen to be in a well established neighborhood with second and third generation New Yorkers and they say 'hey mister...' they are not trying to offend you. But if someone out of the blue says 'HEY MISTER ....' then that's a different story. 

 

So going back to what was originally discussed we should give some flexibility as to how B/Os adress people, its not that serious. It depends on the context in which they are addressing a passenger. The majority of B/Os are not that mean.

 

I just hope no other stranger call's him brother..They might get punched in the face..

[realizm]

LOL.

 

I mean its cool, I understand what VG8 is saying, ok hes entitled to his opinion. Im not taking this seriously. Just myself and my mindless musings... I'm just saying that for the sake of debate, that communication in terms of tone of voice, context and setting is what makes the difference in terminology in general, even in the way one types on social media on the internet. Its no big deal. 

 

Same with bus operators, not all of them are mean like that. Like give them some courtesy too and exercise some openmindedness, no need to be this offended over the point of B/Os and the mannerisms they may have in addressing people, B/Os who have a wide array of different wholehearted personalities.

[Via Garibaldi 8]

The meme was directed at Orion IIV 4 Life, just pulling his leg.

 

Anyway yes, but again, what I am trying to say is that its the context in which titles slang, formal or not is used. Its ok, man...

 

Ok let me try another way of explaining it. There are three elements in the English language that denotes communication: Word, meaning and tone of voice. That would deliver the context of how words are used. (Along with non verbal cues which some say makes up the actual larger percentage of communication according to some)

 

So if say on the internet I say 'Mr. Garibaldi', I am speaking in a non aggressive insulting way. But if as another example, if I say 'MRRRRR. GARIBALDIII!!' then that denotes that I am addressing you in a way to deliberately become disrespectful and agressive. Notice I used a formal term (Mr.) but in two forms of context. (Just using this as an analogy.)

 

The same goes with addressing people by title verbally. Theres a big difference. 

 

So if someone if you happen to be in a well established neighborhood with second and third generation New Yorkers and they say 'hey mister...' they are not trying to offend you. But if someone out of the blue says 'HEY MISTER ....' then that's a different story. 

 

In a formal setting thats a different story. We both understand and perform proper ettiquette accordingly and expect so in return, but thats in a business setting. True.

 

But going back to what was originally discussed we should give some flexibility as to how B/Os adress people, its not that serious. It depends on the context in which they are addressing a passenger. The majority of B/Os are not that mean.

In short where I think we disagree at is how B/Os address people. The B/Os that I'm cool with know that there is certain behavior or language that is appropriate. Why? Because they are at work and dealing with customers. You can be friendly with customers and still maintain a level of respect, and that's my point. I'm very informal with my customers, but I don't cross the line to the point to where I'm speaking to them as if we're homeboys, and unless you have that relationship with a customer, it should remain formal. I have B/Os that are informal with me and we discuss things that are certainly not for everyone's ears (if no one else is on the bus), but again, we know each other, and we've established that relationship over time, so there's an understanding.

[biGC323232]

LOL.

 

I mean its cool, I understand what VG8 is saying, ok hes entitled to his opinion. Im not taking this seriously. Just myself and my mindless musings... I'm just saying that for the sake of debate, that communication in terms of tone of voice, context and setting is what makes the difference in terminology in general, even in the way one types on social media on the internet. Its no big deal. 

 

Same with bus operators, not all of them are mean like that. Like give them some courtesy too and exercise some openmindedness, no need to be this offended over the point of B/Os and the mannerisms they may have in addressing people, B/Os who have a wide array of different wholehearted personalities.

 

I understand the point he's making..But being called Brother... Come on in NY....Thank god he didn't say ******

[Via Garibaldi 8]

I understand the point he's making..But being called Brother... Come on in NY....Thank god he didn't say ******

Well maybe in your environment it's common, but certainly not in my environment. Question of education and who you hang around with. Most of my friends don't speak with the whole ebonics thing and the ones that do, well like I said, we've known each other long enough that it's perfectly fine when my friend calls me "dawg".

[realizm]

In short where I think we disagree at is how B/Os address people. The B/Os that I'm cool with know that there is certain behavior or language that is appropriate. Why? Because they are at work and dealing with customers. You can be friendly with customers and still maintain a level of respect, and that's my point. I'm very informal with my customers, but I don't cross the line to the point to where I'm speaking to them as if we're homeboys, and unless you have that relationship with a customer, it should remain formal. I have B/Os that are informal with me and we discuss things that are certainly not for everyone's ears (if no one else is on the bus), but again, we know each other, and we've established that relationship over time, so there's an understanding.

OK let me bring another analogy....

 

Within Asian cultures it is generally disrespectful to maintain eye contact, but it depends on setting you can say. Now I like Asian girls (Yes I went there just follow me....)

 

Ok rewind... I mean actually with cute girls in general...

 

If say I just oogle a girl on the train thats not the way to go that will creep the poor kitten out. But if I am in a club and I notice a girl its perfectly appropriate to maintain eye contact and flirt by means of non verbal cues. Its understood I am looking for a date. Big difference.

 

Same with (again for how many times I lost count) setting and place when dealing with people. Its good to be socially and emotionally intelligent. And again context, tone of voice and pitch can denote different meanings in germanic and romanticized languages.

[biGC323232]

Well maybe in your environment it's common, but certainly not in my environment. Question of education and who you hang around with. Most of my friends don't speak with the whole ebonics thing and the ones that do, well like I said, we've known each other long enough that it's perfectly fine when my friend calls me "dawg".

 

I hope i

 

Well maybe in your environment it's common, but certainly not in my environment. Question of education and who you hang around with. Most of my friends don't speak with the whole ebonics thing and the ones that do, well like I said, we've known each other long enough that it's perfectly fine when my friend calls me "dawg".

 

lol..I hope im not the next stranger to call u brother by accident...I might get the shit beat out of me

[Via Garibaldi 8]

I hope i

 

 

lol..I hope im not the next stranger to call u brother by accident...I might get the shit beat out of me

LOL... I'm going to be honest and say that I am a real @ss wipe when it comes to things like this. Call it a pet peeve if you will... I'm very old school with these things... I also don't like my name shortened or changed. I had a few people that work for me do that and I sent them an e-mail and made it very clear that that is not acceptable under any terms. Mom and dad gave me a name for a reason, which I take pride in, not for someone else to go and change it.

[Culver]

LOL... I'm going to be honest and say that I am a real @ss wipe when it comes to things like this. Call it a pet peeve if you will... I'm very old school with these things... I also don't like my name shortened or changed. I had a few people that work for me do that and I sent them an e-mail and made it very clear that that is not acceptable under any terms. Mom and dad gave me a name for a reason, which I take pride in, not for someone else to go and change it.

 

I'm with you, brother. I hate it when bus drivers pretend they're not inferior to me.

[Orion VII 4 Life]

Well maybe in your environment it's common, but certainly not in my environment. Question of education and who you hang around with. Most of my friends don't speak with the whole ebonics thing and the ones that do, well like I said, we've known each other long enough that it's perfectly fine when my friend calls me "dawg".

So are you now calling bus operators uneducated and saying they hang out with the wrong people? SMDH

[BM5 via Woodhaven]

So are you now calling bus operators uneducated and saying they hang out with the wrong people? SMDH

It's that riverdale state of mind.

 

It's funny to see other peoples' responses to this thread, and to the extent this has lasted.

 

I wanna see how other BO's would react seeing this thread.

[Via Garibaldi 8]

So are you now calling bus operators uneducated and saying they hang out with the wrong people? SMDH

Re-read the post before you become "tight" smh... It doesn't refer to any B/O or anyone else for that matter...

[Orion VII 4 Life]

Re-read the post before you become "tight" smh... It doesn't refer to any B/O or anyone else for that matter...

You're obviously saying that people who talk in "ebonics" or whatever have a bad education and hang around the wrong people...

[Via Garibaldi 8]

You're obviously saying that people who talk in "ebonics" or whatever have a bad education and hang around the wrong people...

Uh yes, that's especially true if they (whoever that may be) don't know when to use appropriate language...

[Culver]

Uh yes, that's especially true if they (whoever that may be) don't know when to use appropriate language...

 

That's not how it works. Jargon and tone of voice has nothing to do with one's education level. An undeserved sense of entitlement and self-worth derived from claiming the financial successes of one's parents as one's own, however, shows a lack of maturity and narcissism. Potential for further study, medication may be suitable after further analysis.

[realizm]

It's that riverdale state of mind.

 

It's funny to see other peoples' responses to this thread, and to the extent this has lasted.

 

I wanna see how other BO's would react seeing this thread.

Love to hear the input of our hard working B/Os thats what is needed in this discussion, the input of the bus operators who work tirelessly to sever New Yorkers. Which is what we are waiting for.

[B35 via Church]

Are you kidding me?  You don't know me or anything about me for that matter.  I don't take liberties to address anyone that I don't know in an informal manner, period, and that's how I was raised, which is give respect and receive it.  That's precisely the problem.  People make assumptions about you when they don't know you. I can tell you right know, if I saw you on the street, you as a white man, green man or whatever you are, we are not brothers, period.  Leave all of that nonsense out.    

I have to agree with this..... If I don't know you, I'm not coming up to you & addressing you as "bro", "brother", 'B', "blood", "my g", 'G', "god (what up god)", "my nigga", "rude bwoy", "playa", "homes/homie", "son", "boss", "papi" (if it's a hispanic guy), "killa", "big man", the list goes on & on.... I don't even use sir/ma'am either.... I just say "excuse me" (if in the VERY rare occurrence I opt to ask someone something whilst on the street/on a bus/train), or a loud enough "YO" (or "MISS", if it's a woman) if someone drops something, or left something on a bus/train.....

 

To add to your point about people making assumptions about you, People people tend to think that other people they come across are people people like them, and that irks me to no end, as I'm not a people person...... Extraverts may represent the vast majority, but everyone aint tryna be latched on to..... 

 

Foghorn Leghorn says it best (click)

 

LOL... I'm going to be honest and say that I am a real @ss wipe when it comes to things like this. Call it a pet peeve if you will... I'm very old school with these things... I also don't like my name shortened or changed. I had a few people that work for me do that and I sent them an e-mail and made it very clear that that is not acceptable under any terms. Mom and dad gave me a name for a reason, which I take pride in, not for someone else to go and change it.

I have no qualms in admitting I just don't like people bothering me, period..... I tend to have a problem with people calling me (by my actual name, or any informality) - especially when I'm busy/focused..... Even when my own family members say my name/call me by name in some request for something, I smirk.... I even do it at work.... My lady even makes an issue out of it..... It's to the point where it's like it's involuntary.....

 

Somebody always wants you for something, but when you want something from someone, it's a problem....

 

Again, from that slick talking cartoon Rooster....

[Via Garibaldi 8]

I have to agree with this..... If I don't know you, I'm not coming up to you & addressing you as "bro", "brother", 'B', "blood", "my g", 'G', "god (what up god)", "my nigga", "rude bwoy", "playa", "homes/homie", "son", "boss", "papi" (if it's a hispanic guy), "killa", "big man", the list goes on & on.... I don't even use sir/ma'am either.... I just say "excuse me" (if in the VERY rare occurrence I opt to ask someone something whilst on the street/on a bus/train), or a loud enough "YO" (or "MISS", if it's a woman) if someone drops something, or left something on a bus/train.....

 

To add to your point about people making assumptions about you, People people tend to think that other people they come across are people people like them, and that irks me to no end, as I'm not a people person...... Extraverts may represent the vast majority, but everyone aint tryna be latched on to..... 

 

Foghorn Leghorn says it best (click)

That's precisely the point that I'm making here. I don't care what the person's background is, if we don't know each other, I don't want you addressing me like "we're cool" because we're not. You're a stranger and you should act as such. Now there's a security guy (older black gentleman) that does security over on Park Avenue at one of the JP Morgan Chase buildings. Very friendly guy. He speaks to everyone that works in the complex, and I have been there myself for a few networking events. When he sees me pass by, he may greet me, but he always does so in a respectful manner, and I in turn as a result greet him back, wishing him a good day, which I usually don't do with random strangers, but the way that he goes about it, I can respect, and that's the way it should be with strangers, but as you said, some people are overly friendly, and that in my mind raises suspicion as to what the motive is, because believe me, everyone always has an angle.

 

 

I have no qualms in admitting I just don't like people bothering me, period..... I tend to have a problem with people calling me (by my actual name, or any informality) - especially when I'm busy/focused..... Even when my own family members say my name/call me by name in some request for something, I smirk.... I even do it at work.... My lady even makes an issue out of it..... It's to the point where it's like it's involuntary.....

 

Somebody always wants you for something, but when you want something from someone, it's a problem....

 

Again, from that slick talking cartoon Rooster....

I would agree with this also... I'm not exactly a people person, and I like my space. I think that's part of the reason why I don't like people acting as if we're buddies when we don't know each other. It's like the equivalent of an invasion of privacy on all sorts of levels. As for the whole name thing, the only people that may shorten my name on occasion are friends, but most just use the first name. Same with my family. My mom had a nickname for me that she would use when I was smaller, but she's mom so she can get away with it, but anyone else... Nope...

[realizm]

That's precisely the point that I'm making here. I don't care what the person's background is, if we don't know each other, I don't want you addressing me like "we're cool" because we're not. You're a stranger and you should act as such. Now there's a security guy (older black gentleman) that does security over on Park Avenue at the JP Morgan Chase building. Very friendly guy. He speaks to everyone that works in that building, and I have been there myself for a few networking events. When he sees me pass by, he may greet me, but he always does so in a respectful manner, and I in turn as a result greet him back, wishing him a good day, which I usually don't do with random strangers, but the way that he goes about it, I can respect, and that's the way it should be with strangers, but as you said, some people are overly friendly and that in my mind raises suspicion as to what the motive is, because believe me, everyone always has an angle.

 

Fair enough. Respect the mans wishes. 

 

I have different views on this but he has his. Its cool.

[B35 via Church]

That's precisely the point that I'm making here. I don't care what the person's background is, if we don't know each other, I don't want you addressing me like "we're cool" because we're not. You're a stranger and you should act as such. Now there's a security guy (older black gentleman) that does security over on Park Avenue at one of the JP Morgan Chase buildings. Very friendly guy. He speaks to everyone that works in the complex, and I have been there myself for a few networking events. When he sees me pass by, he may greet me, but he always does so in a respectful manner, and I in turn as a result greet him back, wishing him a good day, which I usually don't do with random strangers, but the way that he goes about it, I can respect, and that's the way it should be with strangers, but as you said, some people are overly friendly, and that in my mind raises suspicion as to what the motive is, because believe me, everyone always has an angle.

 

I would agree with this also... I'm not exactly a people person, and I like my space. I think that's part of the reason why I don't like people acting as if we're buddies when we don't know each other. It's like the equivalent of an invasion of privacy on all sorts of levels. As for the whole name thing, the only people that may shorten my name on occasion are friends, but most just use the first name. Same with my family. My mom had a nickname for me that she would use when I was smaller, but she's mom so she can get away with it, but anyone else... Nope...

Yeah, I don't trust overly friendly people, or someone that always got a god damn smile on their face - esp. with what's goin on in & around the world today..... I understand not harping on the negative, but you can only suppress so much (this is what bugs me with some women; putting on a gleeful facade, like no negativity exists whatsoever... give me a break - You'll come to find out that women that resort to this are some of the most miserable people out)..... 

 

Someone like a bellhop, a doorman (not always the same person [bellhop], like some may believe) or a security guard, that greets people... I mean some of that is part of their job, so I'm not in it to give em a hard time..... Those situations I just put my hand up for a split second (without the waving motion) or "mirror" w/e they say back....... But if said persons were like what up ______ (insert those aforementioned informalities here) & I didn't know em from Adam, I'd look at em like they're stupid & continue walking wherever I'm going.... I'm not a "good morning" person (I reply back with a "morning") & I have never wished anyone a good day or a good evening (not even family, or my ex or current woman); that's just not me.... More power to those people who have that personality trait in em, but I just don't have it.....

[Via Garibaldi 8]

Yeah, I don't trust overly friendly people, or someone that always got a god damn smile on their face - esp. with what's goin on in & around the world today..... I understand not harping on the negative, but you can only suppress so much (this is what bugs me with some women; putting on a gleeful facade, like no negativity exists whatsoever... give me a break - You'll come to find out that women that resort to this are some of the most miserable people out)..... 

 

Someone like a bellhop, a doorman (not always the same person [bellhop], like some may believe) or a security guard, that greets people... I mean some of that is part of their job, so I'm not in it to give em a hard time..... Those situations I just put my hand up for a split second (without the waving motion) or "mirror" w/e they say back....... But if said persons were like what up ______ (insert those aforementioned informalities here) & I didn't know em from Adam, I'd look at em like they're stupid & continue walking wherever I'm going.... I'm not a "good morning" person (I reply back with a "morning") & I have never wished anyone a good day or a good evening (not even family, or my ex or current woman); that's just not me.... More power to those people who have that personality trait in em, but I just don't have it.....

LOL... I don't know what your sign is but man I'm pretty much the same way. I like keeping things mellow... You can never really read my mood. The only people I speak to are the ones that I'm cool with, overwise I couldn't care less. The people that are overly friendly with the security guards make me want to barf. Same thing with the yentas and the B/O's...

[realizm]

Yeah, I don't trust overly friendly people, or someone that always got a god damn smile on their face - esp. with what's goin on in & around the world today..... I understand not harping on the negative, but you can only suppress so much (this is what bugs me with some women; putting on a gleeful facade, like no negativity exists whatsoever... give me a break - You'll come to find out that women that resort to this are some of the most miserable people out)..... 

 

Someone like a bellhop, a doorman (not always the same person [bellhop], like some may believe) or a security guard, that greets people... I mean some of that is part of their job, so I'm not in it to give em a hard time..... Those situations I just put my hand up for a split second (without the waving motion) or "mirror" w/e they say back....... But if said persons were like what up ______ (insert those aforementioned informalities here) & I didn't know em from Adam, I'd look at em like they're stupid & continue walking wherever I'm going.... I'm not a "good morning" person (I reply back with a "morning") & I have never wished anyone a good day or a good evening (not even family, or my ex or current woman); that's just not me.... More power to those people who have that personality trait in em, but I just don't have it.....

 

The term I guess is 'soaking the person up' is that what you guys mean. Sometimes when a person is overly friendly that could really mean they may be up to something, like rob you. Seriously this is what happens. It is what it is. So I tend to be cautious for these obvious reasons in a general public setting in the street (Of course with good mannerisms). Its understood its always good in certain settings to remember to smile. But when a man in particular, who is a stranger, is overly friendly, depends, it will send red flags. But again if its a person that I know pretty well, I dont make a big deal out of it. Its just his or her personality. 

 

If I am in a public setting by myself, say like on the subway, I'm dead serious, I keep a straight face. Sometimes sending such non verbal cues like that sends the clear message I am the wrong dude to be messed with. I don't know you, I trust no one. I guess again it depends on the situation. I try to show emotional intelligence when dealing with others.

 

Women being overly friendly? Well to me that actually means the girl likes me and finds me good looking. I'm flattered by that. Never fails, if a girl is overly friendly, starts copying your mannerisms, play with her hair etc.... that means she all of a sudden is overly self concious of herself because she finds you as cute. 

 

With B/Os or C/Rs etc, I can understand why they may be cautious themselves. They are at work dealing with thousands of people everytime they are on the clock in a situation that is unpredictable. Its not a easy job in general, so I can understand.

 

In a formal work setting I will generally smile here and there. Its just the professional thing to do. You wont want to give the impression that you look somber and introverted. 

[B35 via Church]

LOL... I don't know what your sign is but man I'm pretty much the same way. I like keeping things mellow... You can never really read my mood. The only people I speak to are the ones that I'm cool with, overwise I couldn't care less. The people that are overly friendly with the security guards make me want to barf. Same thing with the yentas and the B/O's...

Scorpio.

 

Women being overly friendly? Well to me that actually means the girl likes me and finds me good looking. I'm flattered by that. Never fails, if a girl is overly friendly, starts copying your mannerisms, play with her hair etc.... that means she all of a sudden is overly self concious of herself because she finds you as cute. 

I'm not talking about within the realm of personal interest/attraction.... I'm talking about the women that would have you think that nothing negative whatsoever is going on in their daily lives....

[realizm]

Scorpio.

 

I'm not talking about within the realm of personal interest/attraction.... I'm talking about the women that would have you think that nothing negative whatsoever is going on in their daily lives....

 

I like Asian kittens...

[B35 via Church]

I like Asian kittens...

What?