Via Garibaldi 8 Posted July 10, 2014 Share #1 Posted July 10, 2014 Of late I've been having quite a B/O's (white, latino and black alike) take the liberty of calling me "brother", which I find rather weird and disrespectful, especially as I become older in age as a young adult. I don't like anyone calling me "brother" (aside from family of course if I had siblings) and that wouldn't apply there, as I don't have any siblings. I'm just amazed at the liberties that some people take when they don't even know you. In my mind, it's a form of disrespect, as I don't greet people out of their name when I don't know them unless I know that they're fine with being greeted in a particular way. I was raised that you should always address people that you don't know as "sir", "miss", "mam" etc. to show respect, but it seems as if that is lacking these days. The other one that I've heard used is "G", which I have no idea what in the hell that means.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peacemak3r Posted July 10, 2014 Share #2 Posted July 10, 2014 Welcome to New York City, brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Via Garibaldi 8 Posted July 10, 2014 Author Share #3 Posted July 10, 2014 Welcome to New York City, brother. I always thought that proper etiquette was automatic... This must be a generational thing, because I don't recall this happening say 10 - 15 years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acela Express Posted July 10, 2014 Share #4 Posted July 10, 2014 Get used to it, my brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Via Garibaldi 8 Posted July 10, 2014 Author Share #5 Posted July 10, 2014 Get used to it, my brother. What I'm curious about is is this a new generational thing or what? I never recall being called this in years past and find it extremely unprofessional. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYSubwayBuff Posted July 10, 2014 Share #6 Posted July 10, 2014 I don't know i dont think its a New York problem IMO this is everywhere in America, ik for a fact that it is different in different cultures, I have been taught in my culture, im Ukrainian/Russian to always adress people by the formal way of saying you in Russian or tge equivalent of saying mam or sir, but as my parents and thier friends become more Americanized I noticed this is not stressed because I see kids addressing random people like they are the adults best friend. I know in Italian culture the same away (you're Italian right?), when learning Italian in school I was taught to adress non family members that were significantly older or people I don't know diffrently. I fuesd this shows how un cultured Americans are and I guess im used to being adressed and adressing people like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYSubwayBuff Posted July 10, 2014 Share #7 Posted July 10, 2014 Oh and I don't know maybe there is a different meaning here but "G" in the hood is a shortening of gangster hence all the rap music about trying to be a "G" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Via Garibaldi 8 Posted July 10, 2014 Author Share #8 Posted July 10, 2014 I don't know i dont think its a New York problem IMO this is everywhere in America, ik for a fact that it is different in different cultures, I have been taught in my culture, im Ukrainian/Russian to always adress people by the formal way of saying you in Russian or tge equivalent of saying mam or sir, but as my parents and thier friends become more Americanized I noticed this is not stressed because I see kids addressing random people like they are the adults best friend. I know in Italian culture the same away (you're Italian right?), when learning Italian in school I was taught to adress non family members that were significantly older or people I don't know diffrently. I fuesd this shows how un cultured Americans are and I guess im used to being adressed and adressing people like that Yes, my family is of Italian background on my father's side, but in any event, I was raised to address people in a respectful manner. What irks me is how informal people are and the lack of respect that people have for others in assuming that their disrespect is acceptable because it isn't. I have never addressed people that I don't know in such a manner and never would, be it in my office or on the street. I think the real issue here is some of these drivers lack manners and believe that addressing passengers using "G" and "brother" is perfectly okay, and it most certainly isn't. Were they not raised to have proper manners? It just seems so inappropriate and disrespectful. I guess me being a project manager and a private tutor/teacher, I am just used to people showing respect when addressing me. They either address me by my first name or as Mr. (insert last name). My students would most certainly be told that calling me anything but my name or my last name would not be tolerated, and people that work for me, they also don't address me like that, and those that do are told immediately that that isn't acceptable, and if they continue, I would simply fire them for a lack of respect, as I most certainly don't address them in a disrespectful manner. The worst thing I've ever had happen was someone tried to abbreviate my first name, which was not ok, and once I addressed that, it stopped immediately. As for this situation with these B/O's I have been ignoring it probably out of shock, which was a huge mistake, but going forward I'm going to start addressing it because I don't appreciate it one bit. I believe in giving respect and receiving it, simple as that. I'm a grown man, not some home boy on the street. Preposterous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NYSubwayBuff Posted July 10, 2014 Share #9 Posted July 10, 2014 But I guess you shouldn't make a big fuss about it if its a b/o addressing you in a manner you find disrespectful then I don't think you should pay any mind because after you leave the bus you don't see him until the next time you get him as your operator if I were you I'd only pay attention to it if it was someone you see and or work with on a daily basis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Via Garibaldi 8 Posted July 10, 2014 Author Share #10 Posted July 10, 2014 But I guess you shouldn't make a big fuss about it if its a b/o addressing you in a manner you find disrespectful then I don't think you should pay any mind because after you leave the bus you don't see him until the next time you get him as your operator if I were you I'd only pay attention to it if it was someone you see and or work with on a daily basis I would say that too, but if you get the same driver on a regular basis then it should be addressed from the start because it is not okay and allowing them to do it sends the wrong message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peacemak3r Posted July 10, 2014 Share #11 Posted July 10, 2014 If you are called "brother" from someone unknown from you and feel disrespected...I really have no words for you. I've been called "brother" or "boss" plenty of times and I really don't care, it's better than not getting a response at all. Plus, I've had Italian neighbors call me "brother" too and not even a bother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Via Garibaldi 8 Posted July 10, 2014 Author Share #12 Posted July 10, 2014 If you are called "brother" from someone unknown from you and feel disrespected...I really have no words for you. I've been called "brother" or "boss" plenty of times and I really don't care, it's better than not getting a response at all. Plus, I've had Italian neighbors call me "brother" too and not even a bother. Well that's you... We are clearly are not the same, and in my mind it is disrespectful. If you're fine with being called out of your name then good for you, but I am not. I don't like anyone doing it regardless of their ethnic background. "Sir" is the appropriate and respectful term to use with people that you don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acela Express Posted July 11, 2014 Share #13 Posted July 11, 2014 Well that's you... We are clearly are not the same, and in my mind it is disrespectful. If you're fine with being called out of your name then good for you, but I am not. I don't like anyone doing it regardless of their ethnic background. "Sir" is the appropriate and respectful term to use with people that you don't know. Brother is universal, as we are all one. Board my bus so I can call you brother, too. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B35 via Church Posted July 11, 2014 Share #14 Posted July 11, 2014 My G' is the same thing... My brotha, my dude, my homie, etc..... Anyway, I have to disagree with you with one thing though.... And this is something that irks the shit out of me because I think it started (and still is done) out of sheer sarcasm... And that is this, some of these millennials using "sir" & ma'am" when they address someone..... When elders use sir/ma'am, you can tell they're being sincere with it because that's how they were raised (which is your point)... But the way these high schoolers & young college kids use sir/ma'am, to me, it has a undercurrent of sarcasm to it..... So the sir/ma'am thing done came back - maybe not to the lengths you think it should, but it is coming back..... As far as your complaint, I can't relate, because I don't think I ever had a b/o address me as "my brotha".... Now panhandlers OTOH..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Via Garibaldi 8 Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share #15 Posted July 11, 2014 Brother is universal, as we are all one. Board my bus so I can call you brother, too. lol The funny thing is it doesn't seem that way. If B/O's were addressing all males that way then that would be different, but I think some guys do it because they see a young guy like myself and want to be wise guys, and others do it because they really think that because I'm a young guy, that automatically means that I can be addressed any old way or that they can be very informal with me. Now I'm pretty sure that you don't address elderly males in that manner and you know why, so it shouldn't be any different with anyone else. My motto is I don't know you and you don't know me, so I don't take liberties in assuming that I can address a B/O in any other way other than hello or good morning or good evening, and thank you or thanks when exiting if I really keep want to keep it short. Even if I do know a B/O I still show a certain level of respect with them because I feel as if there's a fine line that should not be crossed. I may board and say hello my friend or buddy if I'm greeted that way and I know the B/O, but that's after having established a relationship with that person. I just find it inappropriate to address what are basically strangers in a professional setting in any other way. My G' is the same thing... My brotha, my dude, my homie, etc..... Anyway, I have to disagree with you with one thing though.... And this is something that irks the shit out of me because I think it started (and still is done) out of sheer sarcasm... And that is this, some of these millennials using "sir" & ma'am" when they address someone..... When elders use sir/ma'am, you can tell they're being sincere with it because that's how they were raised (which is your point)... But the way these high schoolers & young college kids use sir/ma'am, to me, it has a undercurrent of sarcasm to it..... So the sir/ma'am thing done came back - maybe not to the lengths you think it should, but it is coming back..... As far as your complaint, I can't relate, because I don't think I ever had a b/o address me as "my brotha".... Now panhandlers OTOH..... Well I think you're right about the millennials situation. Many of them do the "sir" or "ma'am" thing to be sarcastic because they believe that being informal is completely fine. I think it goes back to how you're raised, and my parents were very old school in believing that people should be shown respect and strangers in a professional setting should be addressed formally. I have never had a B/O address me as "my brotha". What happens is if I'm getting off I say thanks, and then they may say have good day brother (a few Latino drivers do it and a few black guys have as well). I also had a ticket collector (white guy) on MetroNorth say hello brother to me which I thought was very odd because he didn't address anyone else that way, but in thinking about it I said maybe it's a youth thing because just about everyone else in the car was older than me or appeared that way and he could've been around my age. I never had any B/O in Brooklyn or Staten Island do that when I rode the express bus, so this whole thing just recently started when I moved to Riverdale, so that's why I've been curious about it. Also while I am young, I am not that young to where I'm in with the whole ebonics thing, so that's another reason why it's strange to me. They have to know that with my fully grown beard that I am not a little kid. I'm a grown man, even though I probably appear younger than I am as I'm often told that I look younger than I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gotham Bus Co. Posted July 11, 2014 Share #16 Posted July 11, 2014 Of late I've been having quite a B/O's (white, latino and black alike) take the liberty of calling me "brother", which I find rather weird and disrespectful, especially as I become older in age as a young adult. I don't like anyone calling me "brother" (aside from family of course if I had siblings) and that wouldn't apply there, as I don't have any siblings. I'm just amazed at the liberties that some people take when they don't even know you. In my mind, it's a form of disrespect, as I don't greet people out of their name when I don't know them unless I know that they're fine with being greeted in a particular way. I was raised that you should always address people that you don't know as "sir", "miss", "mam" etc. to show respect, but it seems as if that is lacking these days. The other one that I've heard used is "G", which I have no idea what in the hell that means.... You can call me , or you can call me Ray. Just get me where I'm going and I'll be okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BM5 via Woodhaven Posted July 11, 2014 Share #17 Posted July 11, 2014 My G' is the same thing... My brotha, my dude, my homie, etc..... Anyway, I have to disagree with you with one thing though.... And this is something that irks the shit out of me because I think it started (and still is done) out of sheer sarcasm... And that is this, some of these millennials using "sir" & ma'am" when they address someone..... When elders use sir/ma'am, you can tell they're being sincere with it because that's how they were raised (which is your point)... But the way these high schoolers & young college kids use sir/ma'am, to me, it has a undercurrent of sarcasm to it..... So the sir/ma'am thing done came back - maybe not to the lengths you think it should, but it is coming back..... As far as your complaint, I can't relate, because I don't think I ever had a b/o address me as "my brotha".... Now panhandlers OTOH..... You should stand by QCM where all the hot dog stands are, there are several people there who (even if you're like 100 feet away) will say "HEY BRO", just to sell you candy for "a music project". What chuckles me also, they try to disguise it in gift bags, like those types of small bags that you would see some girl carry around. Never bought candy from them, but I usually say I gotta go catch the bus (as if I'm in a hurried mood, which is usually the case, because the Q38 going home, when I do it, is no easy task). Well that's you... We are clearly are not the same, and in my mind it is disrespectful. If you're fine with being called out of your name then good for you, but I am not. I don't like anyone doing it regardless of their ethnic background. "Sir" is the appropriate and respectful term to use with people that you don't know. What has Riverdale done to you, brotha? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QM1to6Ave Posted July 11, 2014 Share #18 Posted July 11, 2014 Sounds like the B/O's are just trying to be friendly to me...on EXP runs, it tends to be older/old people, so I've found that a lot of the younger B/O's like seeing another person around their age get on, and many of them will have conversations with me. I'd take it as a friendly compliment if I were you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Via Garibaldi 8 Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share #19 Posted July 11, 2014 Sounds like the B/O's are just trying to be friendly to me...on EXP runs, it tends to be older/old people, so I've found that a lot of the younger B/O's like seeing another person around their age get on, and many of them will have conversations with me. I'd take it as a friendly compliment if I were you. I have no problem with friendliness, and in fact I do have some that I am friendly with... In fact several. Question... Do they call you brother though? The ones that I am friendly with, we're fine, but we maintain a certain level of formality without the whole brother thing. It's understood by them that I don't operate that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biGC323232 Posted July 11, 2014 Share #20 Posted July 11, 2014 I use it as a term of respect...Brother....I always get called that.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobtehpanda Posted July 11, 2014 Share #21 Posted July 11, 2014 Well I think you're right about the millennials situation. Many of them do the "sir" or "ma'am" thing to be sarcastic because they believe that being informal is completely fine. I think it goes back to how you're raised, and my parents were very old school in believing that people should be shown respect and strangers in a professional setting should be addressed formally. The thing about that is, in this city at least, unless you're in a very strict institutional setting, a lot of professionals or adults who kids encounter on a regular basis dislike or encounter being referred to on an extremely formal level. These days most teachers, principals, and other commonly approached adults prefer either being referred to by their title or "Mr." and "Ms.", but almost never "Sir", "Ma'am", or "Mrs." In fact, I've heard people request being referred to as "Dr." more often than "Sir" or "Ma'am." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Via Garibaldi 8 Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share #22 Posted July 11, 2014 The thing about that is, in this city at least, unless you're in a very strict institutional setting, a lot of professionals or adults who kids encounter on a regular basis dislike or encounter being referred to on an extremely formal level. These days most teachers, principals, and other commonly approached adults prefer either being referred to by their title or "Mr." and "Ms.", but almost never "Sir", "Ma'am", or "Mrs." In fact, I've heard people request being referred to as "Dr." more often than "Sir" or "Ma'am." Well maybe that's the case, but I can't think of anyone I work with that is that informal. Then again the people that I work with are my age or older in my office, including most of my clients, and when I do tutor kids on the side, the parents make it clear that I am to be addressed by my first name or as Mr. (last name), as they are usually my age or older. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QM1to6Ave Posted July 12, 2014 Share #23 Posted July 12, 2014 I have no problem with friendliness, and in fact I do have some that I am friendly with... In fact several. Question... Do they call you brother though? The ones that I am friendly with, we're fine, but we maintain a certain level of formality without the whole brother thing. It's understood by them that I don't operate that way. I've had B/O's call me "son" or "bro", not "brother" specifically, but I'm perfectly fine with any of those terms as I'm not a formal person. I enjoy talking to the young B/O's driving the exp routes. In fact, I don't like getting called "sir" because the only people that do that are the DMV workers who seem to say it sarcastically with a sneer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quill Depot Posted July 12, 2014 Share #24 Posted July 12, 2014 Brother is a little wierd. Just a "Hello, Sir" would of been acceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Via Garibaldi 8 Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share #25 Posted July 12, 2014 I've had B/O's call me "son" or "bro", not "brother" specifically, but I'm perfectly fine with any of those terms as I'm not a formal person. I enjoy talking to the young B/O's driving the exp routes. In fact, I don't like getting called "sir" because the only people that do that are the DMV workers who seem to say it sarcastically with a sneer. Son? Really? Wow... That in my mind is totally disrespectful... To me as a young person, I feel as if people have a tendency to approach you in ways that they wouldn't as that's my whole problem with this. I don't think those liberties should be taken. It's less about the word and more about respect. Same thing with sir. You don't know me and I don't know you, so keep it formal and don't treat me like a kid. We're both grown-ups , so let's act the part unless it's agreed by BOTH of us that less formal greetings are okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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